Thank you for applying to the ACU International Exchange Program...

When I applied to study a double degree in Theology and Global Studies I knew there was an overseas component, but I didn't know the details. Once accepted, enrolled, and attending my orientation I realised that meant a full semester abroad either studying or doing an internship. The prospect of living overseas for four months was pretty exciting, but I still had over a year before I needed to think about the details.

But that time wen't very quickly and towards the end of last year I needed to submit my study abroad application to ACU. I chose to study abroad because the process is easier to organise through ACU than an internship, and I really like the idea of studying in another country. And I very quickly narrowed down my preferences - any partner university near Pittsburgh would do. One of my closest friends in the world lives in Pittsburgh and I haven't seen her since the day after her wedding in Malaysia, way back in 2015. I selfishly saw this as an opportunity to be close to her and her family. AND I would get to travel to North America for the first time!

Christine and I at her wedding in Malaysia in 2015.

The only problem was ACU's policy for Global Studies students was they could only preference ONE university in the United States of America. So that's what I did. These were my preferences:

1. Gannon University, Erie PA, USA
2. Universita Cattolica del Sacro Cuore, Rome Italy
3. Ateneo de Manila University, Manila, Philippines

I put Gannon first for the reason already mentioned, Rome second because I was learning Italian last semester and I love Italy, and Manila third because I met the president of Ateneo at a conference last year and thought it would be an alright third preference! We were told to pick each preference as if it were our first and that there were no guarantees of even getting one of our preferences.

Applications closed in mid-December and I knew offers would come out in mid-January. The second week of January rolled around and I decided I would check my email every day, but knew I probably wouldn't get an email until the following week. BUT THEN IT HAPPENED!

I was babysitting... Two were having screen time and two were happily playing on the floor. I had sat on the couch watching them and thought I should check my email. I hadn't received any notifications, but sometimes my phone doesn't get them... So I opened the Outlook app and there it was: an email for ACU International. I was so excited and so nervous... I knew I wasn't guaranteed my first preference, but I was really hoping it would be. I was so nervous it would be somewhere else. I opened the email praying that it would say that I was going to the US. I started reading and read the first part multiple times... 

Dear Rozlyn,

Thank you for applying to the ACU International Exchange Program.  We are pleased to inform you that after reviewing all aspects of your application, 

I was trying to make sure I was reading it properly so I kept reading it over and over... You have to remember I was on my phone so it was multiple lines of text! Eventually I moved beyond that part...

Dear Rozlyn,

Thank you for applying to the ACU International Exchange Program.  We are pleased to inform you that after reviewing all aspects of your application, our team has allocated you to Gannon University, USA.

I read it over a few more times just to make sure what I was reading was correct. I cannot describe how relieved and excited I was! But all of a sudden I was off the couch jumping up and down so excited! And then I had to explain to the kids I was babysitting why I had a sudden outburst! Eventually I calmed down and over the next few days began to share my very exciting news!

It's been 2 months since I found out that I am going to the States. Over the next few months I will be doing lots of things to prepare and will be sharing about them here!

If you want to find out more about ACU's Bachelor of Theology/Bachelor of Global Studies Program, check it out here.

Here's a picture from Gannon at the start of the year! It should snow while I'm there! I've only seen snow once (twice if you count the time my Nan and Pop brought some back from a holiday in the freezer for us) so I'm pretty excited!

Posted by Gannon University on Tuesday, 22 January 2019

Facebook is back...

Well it's only been a couple of months, but the Facebook app is back on my phone. For a couple of weeks I did really well at not going on Facebook, but very quickly I found myself regularly opening the browser on my phone and checking Facebook there. #epicfail

I don't like failing. Or feeling like I have failed. But my addiction to Facebook had me feeling this way. Especially when I was on my phone and getting frustrated with the mobile (but not application) version of Facebook. It was much harder to do anything. I would feel defeated, but often it would remind me of why I was looking at Facebook there, and I would put down my phone. Thus I would feel like I had one in some way. #winning

Another thing that happened is that I started using Instagram a lot more... And Pinterest. I think Pinterest is easier to get lost in for hours than Facebook!

So what did I learn in all this?

1. I really struggle with self discipline.
2. If I take something away I try and fill that void.
3. Moderation is important.
4. I still spend way too much time watching videos of cats.

What I am taking away from this little experiment is that I actually have the power to choose how I spend my time. It's hard when something feels like it has control, but it doesn't. I have also become aware that when I take something out of my life, whether it is good or bad, I want to fill that gap with something. I tended to fill the Facebook gap with something just as pointless rather than using my time intentionally. I am learning that using Facebook in moderation is healthy - just like eating cake in moderation isn't bad for you! And the last thing I am wrapping up to take home with my fish and chips is that I get a lot of joy from silly memes and watching funny animal videos! #lifelessons

Don't you be Russian away without laughing at this meme!

Another great idea that I thought of in the shower...

Lately I've noticed I am very distracted and often find myself on Facebook. The alarming part isn't that I am using Facebook; it's that I often don't know how I got there! I'll be unlocking my phone to check something else and all of a sudden I'll be scrolling through my newsfeed getting distracted. In recent times I have read waaaaaaay too many of the "15 facts you didn't know about..." articles - Can you even call them articles?! 

This morning I was trying to pray. I thought it was a good idea to check something on my phone... And before you know it I am reading some random link that I clicked on and I've wasted 15 minutes of my morning.

This isn't the first time this has happened. I'm quite aware of it. But this morning I decided I needed to do something about it... I believe I get my best ideas while I'm showering. And today I pondered what was making me so distracted and the answer came to me: I just check Facebook too much on my phone. So I deleted the app! I got out of the shower, got dressed, picked up my phone and deleted the app! When the "are you sure you want to delete your whole Facebook life" little question reminder popped up I didn't even hesitate! And just like that Facebook was deleted from my phone.

Spot the difference!

Does this mean I won't check Facebook? No. I'm still going to check Facebook! What I am hoping is that I will have more self-discipline, be more intentional about using Facebook and not just wasting time on it, and that I will use all the time I waste on something more productive - or at least is a better use of my time. After one day it has been amazing! What I need to kick next is my addiction to Snapchat!

Feast Before the Fast!

Every year I make a New Year's resolution. I like to think that I'm not one for making them, but I do! This year I thought I would make it simple: pray everyday, eat healthy and exercise regularly. It doesn't seem that hard... But i am pretty sure I had thrown the baby out with the bath water and completely given up on my resolutions by about 2pm on New Year's Day. Why? Because New Year's Day was just another day; nothing had changed except the date.

I justified eating all the Christmas leftovers and the delicious Nana-tastic treats because come January 1st I would be "good." I would make time for God each day. I would eat healthily, and go back to treats being treats. I would get back into running. I would make choices that were good for me. But that was not the case. I had lunch with some friends on New Year's Day and I travelled interstate. I did not eat healthily and I did not exercise. I can't remember if I made any time for God, but I definitely felt like I failed at some of my New Year's resolution, therefore I failed at the whole thing.

Fast forward two whole months. I spent one whole month away for work in which time I snacked like I have never snacked before! I didn't exercise much because I injured my shoulder and I allowed it to become an excuse. I worked ridiculous hours and put work before sleep, and then sleep before prayer. And I find myself two months into the year and feeling like I missed the point of making a resolution. Making a resolution is about making a decision to do or not do something with firmness or decisiveness. There was nothing firm about the decision I made - I caved after only 14 hours of the 8,760 hours in this year.

Today is Shrove Tuesday. And I feel that tomorrow is another opportunity to make some resolutions. It's like a new year... And how I have approached this past week has been a similar way to my New Year's resolutions, especially today. I ate four Freddo Frogs today. Is this something I would normally do? Nope. But today is all about the feast before the fast. Or at least that's how I justified eating multiple servings more than I normally would... Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of Lent.

This year I have planned what I want Lent to look like. I have decided what I will abstain from, how I will fast, what my alms giving will be and if I will take up anything extra. And I have prepared for this to begin tomorrow in the same way I prepared for my New Year's resolution - by going all out and then cutting everything off completely. My history would expect me to fail. But I know I won't and the reason is Jesus.

When I made a resolution two months ago it was about me. When I wake up tomorrow and stay firm in the decisions I've made for Lent it is because they aren't about me - they're about Jesus. If I had to pick between eating chocolate again and eternal life with Christ I know I would be picking option B. How I live for the next 40 days isn't going to end at Easter; it's a continual journey through life. Whilst giving up a sweet food or bad habit that distracts us from God during Lent might be hard, the challenge is worth it. And I say challenge because if it was easy I wouldn't be giving that up. My small sacrifice will be NOTHING compared to Christ's sacrifice on the Cross; just as my joy at Easter will be nothing compared to the joy of eternal life in union with God.

So here's to a new resolution that I won't give up on at 2pm tomorrow!

Cheers!
(Because who drinks anything other than water in Lent!) 

I am made for more

This morning I was listening to a few of the talks from SEEK 2017. I have heard most of the speakers I was listening to before, but for some reason I kept listening to them today. Had I heard their testimony before? Yes. Had I heard their insights before? In general, yes. But for some reason I knew I needed to keep watching these videos. And I am so glad I did.

          

You can check out the talks I watched here:

Leah Darrow's Talk SEEK 2017

Crystalina Evert's Talk SEEK 2107

Lisa Cotter's Talk SEEK 2017

Something has been stirring in me for quite some time. I just read a book called Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere and IT SPOKE TO ME! As I got closer and closer to the end I was waiting for a moment. A moment where I clearly knew what was stirring in me, and what I was being called to do. But I am yet to have such a moment. I know I have been created to do great things in this world, but I do not know what these great things are. I also know 2017 is going to be a year of doing great things. Again I do not know what these great tings are! So I am taking control of life! When an opportunity arises, I take it! And I want to be bold in my choices!

Tonight I did something I wouldn't normally do. I posted about my journey with Weight Watchers.

As a kid I was picked on for being fat. As a teenager I was very self conscious about my size and weight, but I didn't talk about it. As an adult I didn't think I could ever lose weight so I owned my size and tried to be healthy... I wasn't a fan of clothes shopping... I ordered a bridesmaid dress, made to fit, online for a friend's wedding and it arrived a few months later. But it didn't fit. It was too small. Getting a dress with a few weeks before the wedding was a task, but I happened! And in that time I made a choice to do something different. With the support of a close friend I joined Weight Watchers 15 months ago and have lost 23 kilos since. At first I didn't want people to know. I was nervous and still skeptical. But it worked! Everyday I make choices about what to eat and exercising. I eat what I want. I love ice cream and eat it regularly! I have asthma and have never been able to run, but I set a goal and ran 5km for the first time in 2016! I enjoy running now and my body tells me that it wants to exercise! I like that I have accountability and people with me on this journey. I'm so close to my weight loss goal, but it's not about the weight. It's about having more energy, being confident, eating and feeling healthier, sleeping better, trying new things, reducing health risks, and living life to the full! #testimonytime #weightwatchers #weightwatchersaunz #winningatlife #notashamed #fearfullyandwonderfullymade

I felt so convicted to do so. But the moment I went to press the 'post' button something within me changed and I hesitated. Was I doing the right thing? What would other people think of me? And then that little part of me that is all about taking chances and being bold took over and the button was pressed and there was no going back. (Technically I can delete the post, but that's not how I roll. Plus it's taking the easy way out!) And for a moment I was proud that I did something I wouldn't normally do, and I chose for posting this to be a good thing.

Leah Darrow reminded me this morning that I am brave and I am strong and that I was made for more. And with this reminder I realised that I can't just sit around and wait for things to happen to me. I've known this for a while, but I haven't acted out of this place in a long time. I realised that I was created for SO MUCH MORE. I have no idea what the more is. But I am going into 2017 with the attitude that I am made for more. I know the more is going to be great. I know that this more means greater fruitfulness in my life. I know this more want always be easy, but I am ready! And I want whatever comes my way - or whatever I steer into the path of by taking control and taking chances.

A Journey of Discernment

Every young Catholic knows that at some point they have to discern their vocation. There comes a point at which you can no longer just think that you’ll get to it later in life because now is just not the right time. And that’s been my experience. For three years I volunteered with NET Ministries and told myself it was not the right time to discern my vocation. I spent so many nights talking to the girls on my teams about how I just wanted to be married already or how I wanted to join a religious order already. But the reality is I did not, and still do not want to go on the journey to get to those points in my life.

After putting it off for so long I decided that now is the time. I can’t just sit around and wait for God to turn up one day and say ‘Rozlyn, I want you to be a religious sister and this is the order for you’ or ‘Rozlyn, I want you to be married. And I want you to marry this very attractive, saintly, young Catholic man!’ He just isn’t going to do that. So instead I need to go on a journey with Him. I need to try and listen to what He is saying to me in prayer, in scripture and through other people. So this morning I decided that I should pray about my vocation.

A vocation is a call from God. A lot of people think it’s about a job or career, but for me it’s so much more. It’s about how I can live my life serving God; living fully the call He has placed on my life. And trying to work out what that call is actually is not hard. I am called to be a saint. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a deep love and admiration for St Therese of Lisieux.

“Then, as I reflected that I was born for great things, and sought the means to attain them, it was made known to me interiorly that my personal glory would never reveal itself before the eyes of men, but would consist in becoming a Saint.” 

St Therese of Lisieux, Story of a Soul

She knew she was called to be a saint. She knew that she was called to be holy. And I believe I am called to be a saint. But how I am meant to live my life, in a practical sense, to live this calling is what I do not know.

You see, for me there’s a big part of me that wants to get married and spend my days trying to get my potential husband and children to heaven. But there’s this other part of me that wants to live my life devoted solely to Christ, living in community with other women who have the same desire. And that’s where I am torn. Both of these things are good. In fact, they’re very good. I know that the deepest desires of my heart - the desire to live my life for God; the desire to be a mother; the desire to teach - will be fulfilled in either vocation.

So this morning I sat down and tried to write down how I feel about the journey to my vocation and what I realised is that I’m scared. I am so scared of making the wrong decision. I am scared of missing an opportunity. I am scared of not serving God how He wants me to serve Him. And at that point I looked to Jesus crucified on the Cross.

Ten years ago, this August, I went to Cologne, Germany for World Youth Day and while I was there I purchased a Crucifix. This Crucifix has hung upon the walls of the places I’ve lived (minus the NET houses I lived in.) It has provided me comfort and hope. It has been the place I’ve looked to and realised my sinful nature. It has been dropped and broken. It has been put back together, just as Jesus’ death on the Cross has put me back together.

The Crucifix I bought almost ten years ago.

And this morning I looked to the Cross and asked Jesus if He was scared. He died on a Cross. His call was to die for me. And for you. I’m on board for laying down my life for Christ, but I would struggle give of myself in that way for people who would persecute and hate me. But Jesus did. He knew He would be crucified. He felt our human emotions, so surely he felt scared, right? I’m scared and I’m trying to choose between two good and holy things. I don’t think of these things as going to Calvary. I think of them as having abundant life - living in the Resurrected Christ.

I think we can become so focused on the end goal we forget the journey. The journey to choosing our vocation isn’t carrying a cross. It’s walking with Christ and probably most of the time we’ll only realise after we’ve walked the journey, that our hearts were burning within us and Christ was with us; teaching us and guiding us the whole time. We just don’t recognise it. Instead, just like the two men on the road to Emmaus, we talk about God and his call, rather than talking to Him and living His call.

Right now, in this part of my journey, I know I am not called to be married. Or a religious sister. I am called to be single, but to go on a journey with Christ, even though I am scared. I am going to live the call to be a saint. There’ll be times when it will feel like I’m on the road to Calvary, and others, the road to Emmaus. The end point is not the day I make vows; the end point is getting to Heaven. And the journey of discernment I take towards vows, whether they are religious or marriage vows, is still about the journey to sainthood.

The First Four Weeks in Sydney!

I can’t believe we’ve been in Sydney for four weeks already! Time has flown and it has been a great start to what looks like being an absolutely incredible year!

We were welcomed to Sydney by Bernard and Emma from Catholic Youth Services and driven to our home we unpacked and got ourselves settled. The feeling of being back in Sydney was surreal; so much was the same, but so much had changed. We were straight into ministry with City Silence the very next day and then an encounter day on the Friday. Sydney is a big city. Schools are big and year levels are big, at least for a six person NET Team! Our first encounter day was attended by 160 year 10 students. Whether we liked it or not, the training wheels were off. It was a great day and we learned a lot about our ministry and working together as a team. In some ways it felt like we were learning to fly because we’d been pushed out of the nest! But the biggest thing I remember about this day was being greeted, by name, by a student who I had ministered to on my first year of NET. We often give so much to God and do what He asks of us, but don’t often get to see the fruits of our labour, which is ultimately God’s work any way! But it was a blessing to see the faith, alive and vibrant, in a young person and know that you helped in some way.

We’ve done seven encounter days already, ministering to almost a thousand young people. I’ve had the privilege of sharing a couple of talks and leading one encounter day. A highlight would have to be driving six hours to a campsite near Gunnedah for a day. It was a very short visit, but one well worth it! On our way we had dinner in Singleton; where the World’s Largest Sun Dial calls home, encountered some wildlife on the country roads late at night and visited the Big Golden Guitar in Tamworth! Another highlight would be on another encounter day getting to pray individually with all the students in my small group, and then to my surprise one of the students praying for me. It was a beautiful moment and one I want forget any time soon.

At the Big Golden Guitar in Tamworth

We are kept busy with lots of other ministry. Catholic Youth Services held a welcome BBQ for us and have been keeping us on our toes with regular events. Each week we go to City Silence at St Mary’s Cathedral. Young people from across Sydney gather together for an hour of adoration and then head out for dinner. After going to Six30 Holy Hour regularly, it is like having a little bit of Melbourne with me! And on Wednesday nights we’ve started back up Chill ‘n’ Chat. My team in 2012 kicked off the first ever Chill ‘n’ Chat, last year’s team kept it going, making it bigger and better, and this year we get to continue this great event, starting with a Lenten program. We’ve also begun planning for the Catholic Youth Services Camp next month which is something I am looking forward to.

We’ve also been exploring, heading into Darling Harbour one night for Team Time. Team Time is one of my favourite times of the week. We stop doing ministry, preparing for ministry, or any of the other tasks we need to get done, and spend a couple of hours hanging out as a team. Other than heading into Darling Harbour, we have played many a game of Articulate – which is my favourite board game, and in honour of St Patrick’s Day (and Sarah’s Irish heritage!) we held our own St Patrick’s Day Parade as we were unable to get into the city for the Sydney Parade! This is by far one of the funniest nights we have had. Instructions were to make a float/dress up in something related to St Patrick’s Day. These instructions were interpreted in many different ways. Nick dressed as ‘Irish Man: Ireland’s first ever superhero’. Sarah dressed as ‘The Girl From Belfast’. Steph as an Irish gypsy. Josh decorated his skateboard and wrote some spoken word. I don’t know what Paul dressed as, but there was a lot of green! And I dressed as a rainbow with a pot of gold! (I unfortunately lost my laptop charger, so I can't get photos off my camera at the moment to show any pictures from this great night.)

Us at Darling Harbour

We’ve got lots on over the next few weeks. More encounter days! More City Silence! More Chill ‘n’ Chat! Starting to minister at a couple of universities! And a whole bunch of other random stuff, including having our supervisors visit is in a couple of weeks! I'm sure time is going to fly, but I'm looking forward to what is next.

 

Called. Equipped. Commissioned.

Called, equipped and then commissioned. Or should it be commissioned, called and equipped?

Over the past few weeks I have spent some time reflecting on what I have been called, equipped and commissioned for. I can tell you that God planted a little ‘NET seed’ in my heart almost ten years ago. He laid it in fertile soil and attended to it regularly. At times it looked like it would never grow into anything more than a tiny little sprout, but eventually after much care, maintenance and watering the seedling grew into a calling that I could no longer avoid saying no to. That's how I know that I am called to serve in Sydney on the Catholic Youth Services NET Team in 2014.

And I know that I have been equipped to do so. I spent six weeks on training earlier this year to specifically get ready for this year. But something I don’t think about is that God has been preparing me for this particular call since the day I was born. I believe that everything happens for a reason. And I believe that everything that has happened in my life has brought me to where I am now and will take me to the places I’m going in the future - even though I don’t know where or what they will be. It’s not a coincidence that I was on this team in 2012. God planned that. And He is going to use my experiences from that year to do His work this year. Two years ago I would not have thought I would be doing a third year, but God was preparing me for it without me even realising!

 

2014 Netters, Staff and Freedom Staff

On Friday 21^st February fifty-one Netters were commissioned by the Archbishop of the Brisbane, Mark Coleridge, to share the Good News to the youth of Australia. We were asked three questions:

• Are you prepared to witness to Jesus, the Risen Lord, in all your words and actions?
• Through the ministry of proclaiming the Gospel, are you prepared to help others encounter God, our Father, through Jesus Christ whom He has sent?
• Are you prepared to be joyful witnesses who are willing to sacrifice your lives so that the Kingdom may be proclaimed and the Church established in the midst of the world?

To each question we all answered ‘we are’. 

The word commission has several meanings, but can be defined as a duty or task committed to a person or group to perform or the authority to undertake certain duties. This year I have been commissioned to encourage young people to love Jesus and embrace the Church, by witnessing to Jesus in all my words and actions, proclaiming the Gospel, and being a joyful witness. Essentially I have been commissioned to bring the Good News to others, but wasn’t this what I was commissioned to do in baptism? The Catechism of the Catholic Church says ‘“reborn as sons of God (the baptised) must profess before men the faith they have received from God through the Church” and participate in the apostolic and missionary activity of the people of God’ (CCC 1270) and in Ad Gentes, the Decree on the Missionary Activity of the Church, it states that every single disciple of Jesus ‘has the duty of spreading the Faith’. (AG 23) Which leaves me wondering if I was called and then commissioned, or commissioned and then called to this mission...

 

Either way on February 21^st we were sent out to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ to this country. And it has been a great journey thus far. As training came to an end we prepared for our first Encounter Days and then ran them. We had a few last minute things to learn on training, we visited the CarmeliteSisters in Ormiston. And then it was time for us to head to Sydney. We were warmly welcomed by the staff of Catholic Youth Services and have settled in. We’ve been busy since the day we arrived, but there’ll be more about that another time.

It is a privilege that God would call me to serve here in Sydney again in 2014. It is not at all what I would have picked. But I know He has been preparing me for this for a very long time and is going to be even more amazing than I could ever imagine. For now I’m going to put the question of which came first; the call or the commission, in the same basket as the chicken and the egg!

 

The Great Commission - Matthew 28:19



My commission reminds me of the theme for World Youth Day last year; 'go and make disciples of all nations.' (Matthew 28:19) The full text of Pope Francis' homily from the World Youth Day Mass on Copacabana Beach can be found here, but here are some words for reflection:

 

"Where does Jesus send us? There are no borders, no limits: he sends us to
everyone. The Gospel is for everyone, not just for some. It is not only
for those who seem closer to us, more receptive, more welcoming. It is for
everyone. Do not be afraid to go and to bring Christ into every area of life,
to the fringes of society, even to those who seem farthest away, most
indifferent. The Lord seeks all, he wants everyone to feel the warmth
of his mercy and his love."
 

Sydney Here We Come!

Almost two weeks ago teams for 2014 were announced.  I am excited to share that I’ll be returning to Sydney as part of the Sydney CYS NET Team this year. I was surprised that I would be going back to a location that I had previously served in, but am very aware that God does the most random things in my life and they have the tendency to turn out pretty amazing! I am excited that I get to journey through this year with five other incredible young people. Paul is from Edmonton, Canada and is my co-team leader. Josh is from Texas, USA. Sarah is from Brisbane. Steph is from the Gold Coast and Nick is from Bendigo in my home diocese of Sandhurst. We’re a very random bunch, but have spent the last two weeks getting to know each other.

#sydneycysnetteam2014
From left to right: Me, Steph, Sarah, Paul, Nick and Josh

The day after teams were announced we spent an afternoon in Noosa together. We ended up going to the beach, climbing on some rocks and just sitting and talking. We’ve been having a lot of fun, but have also started all our ministry training. We’ve learnt how to give talks and share testimonies, lead games, and lead other activities. There were a few days where we learnt a whole bunch of dramas and skits. We also spent a few days learning about local ministry (as opposed to the National Team’s ministry) and community living. We were very blessed to have Bernard, the Director of Catholic Youth Services (CYS) in Sydney, visit us for a couple of days and share with us some of the ministry we will be doing this year. It has changed A LOT since I was on team in Sydney in 2012, so I am very excited for a new and exciting year.

The last three weeks have absolutely flown by and I have experienced many things - too many to write about! The first week was spent as a retreat. This has been my favourite part of training thus far. Each year I have been blessed with life changing experiences during the first week of training. And this year did not disappoint. I can’t put my finger on one particular moment, but continually over the whole retreat my heart was changed. It was a time of surrender for me. In fact the majority of training has been a time of surrender for me. I have been able to let go a lot of things and have realised I have so much to give, but in different ways than I ever thought I would. It has also been a time of healing and God is drawing me ever closer to Himself - again, in ways I never thought possible.

It has been a time of learning. I have learnt new dramas and ministry tools, but have learnt many new things about who I am. I have changed so much in the last couple of years, and I have been learning to take myself out of the box I have put myself in for so long. Just because I use to do something or react in a particular way doesn’t mean that’s how I am now. I have been reflecting a lot on St Paul’s Letter to the Romans where he says “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind...” (Rom 12:4) I have allowed God to change my heart and now in order to love Him with all my heart, all my mind and all my soul, my mind needs to be transformed and renewed; just as He has transformed and renewed my heart so much in the last two years. I know that God has started to work in this area and I believe that He is going to change me, and the way I think about things so much this year.

We’ve also had a lot of fun on training. Each year there is a NET Training ‘Crazy Olympics’. Some may argue that my only reason for coming back to do a third year was claim victory in this glorious event. I would disagree, however, after losing for two years in a row I was probably more hungry for victory than most. It wasn’t enough winning the Spirit Award in 2012. I needed to go one better, and in 2014 the dream team was assembled. We called ourselves the UrbanRoos! We had a cheer that would even rival the Manchester United Football Club. Competition was close. We won some events, but not others. We couldn’t even crawl to the finish line of the ‘Caterpillar Race’, but had a major comeback in the ‘Banana Relay’, and eventually won, claiming our prize of victory! Really, there’s never a dull day on training!

We’re coming into the tail end of training. We leave the Sunshine Coast this week and we’ll head back to Brisbane for our first Encounter Days and then we’ll be commissioned by Archbishop Mark Coleridge on Friday 21^st February. (If you’re in Brisbane and would like to attend, please check out the details here.) I cannot believe how fast training is going by this year. In just a couple of weeks we’ll be in Sydney. I’m excited for the next couple of weeks and what they’ll bring. It’s an adventure and I’m looking forward to what it will bring. I’m trusting in God and His ways as I know His plan is far greater than I can ever imagine. I'm sure Mary had no idea what God had in store for her, but she said "yes" and God did great things through her. So here's hoping God can do great things through me and my "yes".

Look out Sydney, we'll be there before you know it! And I can't wait!

We Have Ignition... Baby!

After only a couple of weeks of preparing for another year of NET, I arrived in Brisbane for the Ignite School of Music run by Ignite Youth, AKA music training. A little known fact about me is that I actually grew up playing lots of instruments - the air guitar, the air drums, the air keyboard, I even played the air trumpet at one stage, but gave it up pretty quickly. Seriously though, growing up I wanted to play so many different instruments, but for varying reasons was never allowed. On my first year of NET there were some very talented guitarists who taught me a few of the basics. It was enough for me to attend music training in 2013. And then God blessed even more by placing me on a team with more talented musicians in my second year. I picked up some basics on the keyboard and learnt a whole lot more about playing guitar and singing. So these are the God-given gifts that brought me to Ignite School of Music this year.

So what is Ignite School of Music? It’s a five day program of hands on training and formation in contemporary Catholic worship. Worship. The five days were all about worship. I came to Ignite School of Music so excited to learn new skills that would help me lead worship, I forgot the most important thing about leading other people in worship was that I must first have a relationship with Jesus and worship Him in order for others to be lead in prayer.

About twenty or so of this year’s netters joined a whole bunch of other young people at this year’s School of Music, where team from emmanuelworship lead us in different sessions. We started each day with a Heart session. This was literally all about our heart. Well, not the organ that pumps blood through our bodies, but our heart for worship! One of my favourite talks was entitled ‘What’s in your hands...baby?’ Now in this talk I learnt that everything is apparently much cooler when you add ‘baby’ to the end of it! This is debatable, however, the good thing is I managed to take other things from this talk. Music is in us. It’s in us. And it expresses the inexpressible. I was blown away by listening to a heartbeat and knowing that it’s music; and it’s the first music we hear. Way to drop a sick beat there, Jesus! But what hit me the hardest is how much I had forgotten about the heart of worship. Maybe I hadn’t forgotten. Maybe I’ve just become complacent in my worship. Worship isn’t about us. It’s not about the feelings we receive or the lights or the band. It’s about God. True worship is a song of the heart and not of the lips. And it’s why we were created! Jesus draws us deeper into relationship with Him through worship. And that’s what happened for me over those five days.

After a conversation with a friend I had the realisation that I am doing a third year of NET. It kind of hit me like when you’re pushing a kid on a swing and you look away for just a second and they kick you right in the face! You know it’s there. You know it’s coming. And then out of nowhere - BAM! It hits you and you really feel it! But it was through this realisation that I was able to acknowledge that I’m not perfect and I don’t have everything right, but God is and does. And He is going to do great things in and through me because of this very simple little fact.

A little bit of praise and worship kicking off a Heart session

On a more practical note I learnt a whole bunch of new skills on the good old acoustic guitar. I’m taking away a few new chords and new ways to play old chords. We were split into bands and each band got to practice and lead everyone in a time of worship. During our band practice times each person in my band got to lead the rest of the band in one or two songs. This was a personal highlight for me. I didn’t actually want to do it, but I did it anyway! And I messed up the chords. I messed up the singing. But I was worshipping so it didn’t even matter! This is a massive achievement in my life, as a year ago I didn’t ever want to sing in front of others, let alone lead them in worship!

After a day off and a change in host homes, us netters came together at the NET office for an extra day of music training. We spent a lot of time practicing the Rivers Youth Mass Setting and learning how to play a whole bunch of songs we’ll need to know for the year. I found it really helpful and could tell my skills had improved a whole lot since many a failed attempt at playing an E minor chord just two years ago! I’ve come a long way!

Music Training continued at the NET office
#thirdyearnetlife

We’ve been sent out with new hearts and new skills to share who Jesus is through the language of music. It’s exciting. It’s a little bit scary. But mostly it’s exciting. Tomorrow training begins. All the netters of 2014 will come together for the first time. It’s also mostly exciting, but a little bit scary! But I’m looking forward to the adventure that will be this year.

The engine has started... Baby!

Netters of 2014 at Ignite School of Music

A Third Year??? Whaaaaaaaat?!

I’ve never been all that good at making decisions. I have made some pretty poor decisions in my life and I’ve also made some good ones too; maybe even some great ones along the way. But when it comes to making decisions about what movie to watch, which version of Hillsong’s song Hosanna to download or which burger to pick at Grill’d, I struggle. If there are two or more good things to pick from, I would prefer someone else made the decision for me! And that’s how I felt with the last big decision I made.

In 2011 I made the life altering decision of saying ‘yes’ to God’s call to serve with NET Ministries. The whole process was long and drawn out. I spent 2010 looking into NET and by the end of the year it was a serious option for me. For the next six months I was on a seesaw. One week I was certain God was calling me to NET in 2012, the next I was sure He wasn’t. But after months of discernment, saying ‘yes’ came quite easy. It was exciting. Until this point in my life I had never made a decision with such conviction and peace in my heart. So 2012 started and it soon became the craziest, toughest, most fun, life changing, rewarding and life-giving year of my life. And I knew I was called to a second year of NET. 2013 rolled around and I headed back to Brisbane and my year on NET did not disappoint - in fact it far exceeded my expectations. But doing a third year was never part of my plan.

Sydney CYS Team 2012

St Fidelis 2013 Team

Let’s go back to NET Initial Training at the start of 2013. I was having a conversation with two other second years. One of them said ‘do you think there’ll be third years next year?’ and I responded with ‘yes’. My logic was that there were so many second years that at least one of us had to be crazy enough to come back again, but I honestly thought it would be one of them! I didn’t think I’d be back for a third year. And I didn’t want to go back either. Not because I my years were horrible. I loved my two years on NET. But because I thought I would be too tired to do another year.

As the end of my second year got closer, there were two questions that people would ask, not in any particular order:

• Are you doing another year?
• What are you doing after NET? 

To the second I would answer something to the effect of ‘I don’t know. I’ll just take some time and see what God is calling me to’. And to the first I would give a standard response that sounded something like ‘no. This is my second year of NET, and you don’t normally do more than two.’  Then there were a few people who would ask if I would ever do a third year and I would say ‘no’ straight up. I didn’t want anyone to know that if I was called I might say ‘yes’. But I didn’t want to acknowledge that God might even be calling me to a third year.

I had long term plans and doing a third year didn’t fit with any of them. I decided that I wanted to work for a couple of years, get a little money in my piggy bank and then go on an adventure around the world - maybe walk the Camino and have the white Christmas I’ve always wanted.  It was going to be great! I wanted to move to Brisbane, but if a great opportunity came my way and God was calling me to it, I wasn’t going to say ‘no’. So I started applying for jobs. I didn’t get the first job I applied for and was quite relieved when I didn’t get it. Why? Even though it was a great job, I knew I didn’t actually want it; I wanted to want it. A few other jobs that interested me came up. I liked them all, but didn’t feel particularly called or drawn to any of them. I knew I wanted to be, but I just couldn’t see myself in any of the roles. I spent time thinking about what my career goals were and I realised more than anything I desire to live my life as a Christian and to help others grow in their relationship with God. It is that simple. All of these jobs would do that, but I knew that wasn’t where God was calling me. I was still avoiding His call. And I can say it had been there for a while.

I eventually acknowledged that maybe God was calling me to a third year of NET. I didn’t want Him to be. But I prayed about it, finally spoke to someone and prayed about it some more. I didn’t want to say ‘yes’, but I stumbled upon this quote from Pope Francis: ‘I say to myself, and I say to you: do we let God write our lives? Or do we want to do the writing ourselves?’ I realised that I needed to let God do His thing and it became very clear to me that a third year of NET was in fact what God is calling me to, even though it wasn’t what I wanted God to be calling me to. So I said ‘yes’.

I know that this next year is going to be full of challenges, and therefore full of victories. It’s going to be full of business, and therefore full of prayer. It’s going to be tough, therefore fruitful and rewarding. It’s going to be a whole lot of work, and therefore absolutely full of joy. The decision to do a third year wasn’t an easy one to make. It was harder than saying ‘yes’ to God the first time, but it has brought me peace. I know that if I give everything in my third year, and in the wise words of a good friend, ‘God will give me the grace’, and maybe it will turn out to be one of the greatest decisions I’ll ever make... That and having the ‘Baa Baa’ Burger at Grill’d!